It is you. You are the reason. You are not where you want to be because you are the biggest stumbling block in your way to landing that dream job or thriving in a healthy relationship. It is time to stop blaming all those around you and take a good look in the mirror.
Funny fact, well not exactly funny--it is more like an ironic observance. I have found myself fascinated by the collection of conversations I have each and everyday. These collective conversations are both personal and professional. And each conversation is woven with both inspirational overtones and phenomenal struggles. Each story produces varying plots but they all have one common thread- this common tie is that their life dissatisfaction comes from choices (notwithstanding illness). And all of these choices were made in direct correlation with how they feel about themselves.
Ask yourself-do you like what you see in the mirror? This is not merely a question of appearance- it is a question that asks do you like the person you are and do you reflect this feeling to the world? Ask yourself these questions:
Do you like the choices you make daily?
Do you enjoy the people you surround yourself with?
Do you show up for your life the way you truly should?
Do you compare yourself to those around you?
Do you impose impossible expectations on yourself?
Do you beat yourself up for past failures?
If you answered "YES" to any of these questions, ask yourself this: Do you love yourself? Do you love yourself the way you love your child, or your best friend or your fur baby?
“We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care about what you think. Words are secondary. Thoughts live; they travel far.” Swami Vivekananda
Let's explore this a little more, your life is about choices. We cannot control everything, but we do have the ability to control our thoughts. We have the power to attach positive thoughts to neutral experiences. Such a simple concept can really change our trajectory.
Our thoughts lead to our choices. We have the option to take a right turn or a left turn. The right turn leads you to what you know (your comfort zone) and the left turn takes you up a mountain and leads you to new heights. The sum total result of your thoughts sometimes create the negative experiences you are desperately trying to avoid. For example, you do not pick a lackluster mate who sits on the sofa all day drinking beer and commenting on your shabby outfit. You made that decision to commit to this person based on what you think about yourself. Why would you deserve any more than this person in your life?
You do not chose to eat a tub of Ben and Jerry's and a Big Mac for a meal if you feel that you are a healthy person and make healthy choices. You do not settle for a job in food services if you are confident in your skills as a Marketing Exec. Is this ringing a bell?
The intersection of our thoughts and experiences leads usto our assessment of our inner-value. And when we feel icky inside it prompts us to make choices that do not truly align with our core beliefs.
What Impacts Our Self-Esteem?
So why do we make bad choices? This process begins at an early age (I am not blaming mom and dad anymore). They begin with looking for external validation. They begin small and can grow into over powering negative loops in our heads that repeatedly detract us from our fullest potential.
Here are a few powerful reasons we get distracted and allow ourselves to align with outside opinions about ourselves. Take a minute to asses how you navigate these external influences: