Regain Your Composure With Confidence- In 7 Steps.


For most of us- cynicism and polarized opinions are triggering these days. If you are a CEO of a Fortune 500 company or the CEO of your domestic experience- everyone touches upon high-conflict experiences. When things are good the whole world radiates beauty. When we are at our best, we shine a bright light upon all around us that is contagious. However, when we are confronted with bitter confrontation, the ability to snap back and get back to life is a muscle not easily flexed.


I am not a doom and gloom, glass- is- half-empty person. Rather I fancy myself the purveyor of cultivating the bright side in most situations. I interact with so many people each week and I intentionally manage to keep my energy levels high. And this ability to curate a high vibrational energy is purposeful. After all, who wants to listen to a malaise-infused coach?


Reality Check:

Things do get bad. For me. Reality hits me hard, in particular, when I am absorbed in a triggering conflict and then transition into a coaching call that demands the peak performer from myself.



When I logged onto a coaching call earlier this week, I was mentally dealing with the collateral damage of an emotionally charged conversation. This fury-infused conversation left me in a puddle of self-doubt. I did not know how I was going to actively engage in a positive coaching conversation, provide leadership, and create a space for innovative thinking. I was seduced with an exit plan--perhaps I cancel the appointment? (Which I have never ever done but would provide instant relief).


After the acidic altercation earlier in the day, I was knee-deep in monkey brain. I tried, to access my best self and put my proverbial coaching cap on. With earnest, I forced myself to block the processing of the intense conversation. I felt deflated and began doubting myself in every capacity. And yet, I had to be in fighting form in 10 minutes. My next client was scheduled to meet with me-in 10 short minutes, while I continued to vacillate between self-pity and anger, How can I possibly serve my coaching client in the manner they deserve in this frame of mind?


What is the answer?

I want to say that the answer is as simple as putting on your favorite outfit, looking in the mirror, and telling yourself that “You Got This”! Instead, I found these practical ways to help me through momentary angst.


These 7 tips brought my mindset back to peak performing and focus on what was important.


  1. Just Do It. It is as simple as the Nike tagline. Take a deep breath, focus on the task at hand, and dive into your assignment. Tackling a different challenge takes the edge off the confrontation at hand. Procrastination and avoidance add to the weight of your stress. Muster up your game face, take a deep breath and just do it.

  2. Leave Your Garbage At The Door. With intention, compartmentalize your stressful situation and leave it at the door. I am not suggesting forget about it, but put it aside for a moment and compartmentalize the two experiences. Actively participate in what you need to do now and choose to unwrap the stressful experience thereafter. Time and perspective can be great tools in working through confrontation.